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Thursday, April 3, 2008
It really sucks having beautiful friends. Last year, I overheard a girl talking to her friend. She was saying "Look, can I please just go to this alone? Whenever you and I are together, guys only notice you and don't care about me." I know how she feels. One of my closest friends is so pretty, and I feel like even when I'm having a good day, guys only look at her. Cars are always honking at her, and her reactions are always so natural. The only time I've had a car honk at me was when I went outside in my green flannel pajamas. Two cars honked. Sometimes they honk if I'm with her, but rarely when I'm alone. She can say things like "I think he likes me." so casually when I'm not nearly confident enough with myself to even think that. If a guy I know and she doesn't is flirting with me, he immediately stops and switches to her when she comes into the picture. I just feel so...irrelevant. Inadequate. Losery. Now that I'm finished with adjectives that make me feel bad about myself, I'll continue. For example, with Zach, he would flirt with me all the time, yada yada, but she started art lessons too, and he flirts with her now. She unconciously flirts back, and she never realizes. How do I know this? She told me. I wish I was near pretty enough to compete with her. |
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❝ The only excuse for making a useless thing
is that one enjoys it immensely;
All art is useless. ❞
