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Thursday, May 1, 2008
Why do I have an obsession with writing romances? Simple. I want my characters to have lovely lives that make up for my own pathetic one. Like, while Olivia is pointlessly arguing with Collin when inevitably they're going to end up together, courtesy of their creator, I'm scared of seeing a guy who, I hope, has no clue of my crush on him. I'm scared that he won't even acknowledge me, even though we were friends for awhile there. Like I said, me=insecure. I just want to...look at him. Hear his voice. See his smile... But more than that, I want his laughter to be directed towards me. Like it was for awhile there. I want his voice to be taking part in the art of conversation with mine, his penetrating blue gaze to be focused on my bland, hazel one. In reality, I won't even end up seeing him at the auditions, and if I do ever see him again, it'll be next year, in the after-school orchestra. Which I will end up not making, and he will end up succeeding. Or vice versa. Oh, gosh, my sentences are so choppy. It's infuriating! The point is, all of my characters have their happy endings because I choose the endings for them. All I can hope for is that someday, for at least one year, someone will love me, and I will love them, and I'll be happy. Then reality will kick in, and I'll be left alone, crying. Life for a fictional romance character must be so simple, not having to worry about self-pitying tears, being abandoned and never cared for again. They must all know that they'll end up getting what they want, and there's really no need to worry cause it'll work out in the end. In my case, and in most normal peoples' cases, love isn't that simple. Nor is life. |
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❝ The only excuse for making a useless thing
is that one enjoys it immensely;
All art is useless. ❞
