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Saturday, September 6, 2008
all i want to do is sit on my bed and listen to my angry music playlist while tearing things up and screaming/crying. and i don't even know why. oh wait, i know a couple reasons. NUMERO UNO: AMANDA. i'm an awful friend, i know, i read anna's email. how could i help it? the email was just sitting there on my screen, and i saw my name. what i read was amanda saying that she 'loves' me, but i'm hard to enjoy being around sometimes, or some CRAP like that. of course, i couldn't read that and not wonder what anna had said to trigger THAT respsonse. all anna had said was that at the stake dance i had gone up to emily to say that anna was dancing with michael (anna and i had a bet) to rub the fact that i won in her face or whatever, and that emily had been a brat and said that michael was anna's future lover. yeah, i don't exactly see what part of that made amanda want to point out her dislike of me, even though she 'loves' me. i've never liked amanda. she's always annoyed me, but i've put up with her because she's one of anna's other best friends, and, even though i can be a jealous loser sometimes, anna deserves to be happy. i thought i was getting along fine with amanda, but apparently not well enough. i was explaining the situation to my sister, and she said that the reason amanda is saying that to anna is because she feels insecure about anna being friends with me, and she worries that i'm a 'competitor' for anna's affections or whatever, so she points out my faults so that anna can see how i'm not so great, too. Lia is way too smart for her own good. butttt, i'm just not going to say anything, and i'm going to be the bigger person, and if amanda wants to diss me, then she can. i still won't say anything negative about her to anna, no matter how mad i am. i'm just going to try to be good. |
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❝ The only excuse for making a useless thing
is that one enjoys it immensely;
All art is useless. ❞
