I am a pathetic, withering, incompetent, cowardly piece of crap. I'm not going to see him for three entire months, and I can't even hug him goodbye!!!! Words cannot describe the frustration I'm feeling towards myself, and I wish that I were braver. Less goofy, more confident. He's just so...wonderful. Such a great friend. So kind, good-natured. He laughs at my pathetic excuse for humor, and when he does it's so cute. Just seeing him snort makes me bubble. Which sounds really weird. I had a dream awhile ago that he gave me a hug, and it's impossible to explain how it felt without sounding completely corny. It just felt...right to be in his arms: safe. And it felt like we belonged like that, together. But the point is, I didn't hug him, and now I'll never know what it really feels like. Honestly, why was I so afraid of a hug?

I am a pathetic, withering, incompetent, cowardly piece of crap. I'm not going to see him for three entire months, and I can't even hug him goodbye!!!! Words cannot describe the frustration I'm feeling towards myself, and I wish that I were braver. Less goofy, more confident. He's just so...wonderful. Such a great friend. So kind, good-natured. He laughs at my pathetic excuse for humor, and when he does it's so cute. Just seeing him snort makes me bubble. Which sounds really weird. I had a dream awhile ago that he gave me a hug, and it's impossible to explain how it felt without sounding completely corny. It just felt...right to be in his arms: safe. And it felt like we belonged like that, together. But the point is, I didn't hug him, and now I'll never know what it really feels like. Honestly, why was I so afraid of a hug?